What exactly is a “Black job”? I assure you they do not exist, but being Black on the job is a very real thing. Employers who value diversity encourage their people to embrace each others’ differences and be their authentic selves in the workplace, but we don’t talk enough about the consequences of actually doing so. If you are a member of a traditionally marginalized identity group (based on your race, gender, class, citizenship, mental health status, sexuality, etc.), being boldly and audaciously yourself at work can lead to microaggressions from your colleagues. Even unintended microaggressions are hurtful and can chip away at one’s spirit and breed deep seated resentment.
When faced with microaggressions at work, you have two choices. You can either shrink to make yourself more palatable to blend in (a beyond frustrating and soul crushing exercise) or you can challenge the “microaggressor.” The second option is a loaded one for sure. When challenged microaggressors tend to get defensive and may attempt to gaslight you into thinking you are overreacting or being “too sensitive”. The cruel irony of facing microaggressions is that pushing back usually leads to you being labeled the aggressive one.
Years ago I was at a work dinner with a group of colleagues when one of them casually asked me what it was like “growing up in the ghetto with the crack and everything.” I was shocked and perplexed given that his statement didn’t reflect anything close to my upbringing. My shock almost instantly turned to rage as I wrapped my mind around the assumptions underlying the question. My immediate thought was to sarcastically ask him what it was like growing up to be a racist but I was afraid of being labeled angry and combative- a typical stereotype hurled at Black women, especially when we are speaking up for ourselves. Instead of going on the attack, I posed a much more innocuous question in response. I said “That’s an interesting assumption you made there, what are you basing it on?” It was a very simple question but it forced him to face his error on his own vs. me throwing it in his face. Speaking of his face, it immediately turned red as he realized the true answer- he had assumed I came from a certain background because I was Black. Rather than say that out loud, my colleague chose to sincerely apologize for his assumption and quickly changed the subject. I can’t promise you that this trick is foolproof but I have used it several times over the years yielding a very similar result. In the moment it can be hard to swallow your anger and take a calm approach but if you really want to change the way the people around you think, sometimes getting them to realize they are wrong on their own is the path of least resistance.
Happy Independence Day!