We work side by side with you everyday. We labor for hours on end to propel the needs and goals of our organizations and appear tireless while doing so. We’ve crushed almost every goal we ever set for ourselves seemingly with ease. But, the truth is, many high performing women are in a state of emergency. Professionally we’ve succeeded in getting the grades and the degrees and built impeccable careers on that foundation. Personally, some of us have also achieved the socially coveted milestone of marriage and children while others did not, either due to personal preference or sacrifice for the sake of our careers. Those of us who balance work and family constantly feel pressure to excel simultaneously at both. Those of us who chose to focus solely on our careers still face constant judgment and criticism in social circles for that choice and those of us who wanted both but were never able to achieve it grapple with feelings of loss and regret.
The burden of perfectionism for us in today’s society is all-consuming. To survive we must be brave enough to define success on our own terms. We all have our own path and while each is unique, the one constant is that the journey always takes turns we didn’t expect. While we are undoubtedly just as “good” as our male colleagues, we will always face challenges that they do not. We must proudly accept and make peace with what is. Give yourself the grace and space to do and be what YOU need to thrive.
When I first joined the legal team at Google many years ago, a new teammate gave me a sage piece of advice. She said- you are here because you are used to getting A’s in every class. Now your report card is different and your classes are work, home and self. Your new challenge will be learning to accept that you may not be able to ace every test. Learn to embrace that a B isn’t the end of the world and understand that your “self “ class is weighted the heaviest. If you are failing at self care class you won’t even be able to make it to the others. My colleague and now friend was wise beyond her years and is now Google's General Counsel Halimah DeLaine Prado. I went on to chase my dream of working in sports & entertainment with my two children in tow and I now live by this gem. Hopefully sharing it helps others sift through the fog of their own state of emergency.
The burden of perfectionism for us in today’s society is all-consuming. To survive we must be brave enough to define success on our own terms. We all have our own path and while each is unique, the one constant is that the journey always takes turns we didn’t expect. While we are undoubtedly just as “good” as our male colleagues, we will always face challenges that they do not. We must proudly accept and make peace with what is. Give yourself the grace and space to do and be what YOU need to thrive.
When I first joined the legal team at Google many years ago, a new teammate gave me a sage piece of advice. She said- you are here because you are used to getting A’s in every class. Now your report card is different and your classes are work, home and self. Your new challenge will be learning to accept that you may not be able to ace every test. Learn to embrace that a B isn’t the end of the world and understand that your “self “ class is weighted the heaviest. If you are failing at self care class you won’t even be able to make it to the others. My colleague and now friend was wise beyond her years and is now Google's General Counsel Halimah DeLaine Prado. I went on to chase my dream of working in sports & entertainment with my two children in tow and I now live by this gem. Hopefully sharing it helps others sift through the fog of their own state of emergency.